【陳慧珊】有一種教育，叫學習做決定 (17) 讓我們的孩子當孩子

每個家長都希望小朋友擁有求知慾，因為它能推動小朋友在學習上提問更多，增長知識以助他們發展潛能。將好奇心轉化成有系統的發問，繼而進行探究，就是我們希望小朋友能夠擁有的能力。

所以，多發提問是先決條件。擁有求知慾去發問，是鞏固小朋友主動玩耍和學習的重要因素，亦是小朋友心理和身理健康的關鍵。

可是我們暫時並不需要孩子們非常深入地鑽研他們好奇的想法，就讓我們的孩子先好好的當孩子吧！

學懂發問

絕大部分的孩子，與生俱來有一份對世界的好奇。作為家長及教育工作者，我們只需要鼓勵小朋友自由探索世界。為小朋友提供一個培養他們求知慾的環境（不論是問自己還是問他人），足以為小朋友帶來無限驚奇和興奮。

例如，我們可以讓小朋友在公園赤腳走，盡用五感；帶他們到幼兒園與其他小朋友相處；甚至是當我們為小熊縫好破爛的小手時，（我們有多久沒有拿起過針線？）讓小朋友在旁觀察，使他們都能參與家裏的活動。只要能夠讓小朋友一直發問，就已經達到目的。

在小朋友年幼階段，只要有發問的動機，足以讓他們去探索、發現和學習。作為家長和教育者，我們只需要鼓勵他們去提問，已經間接讚許了他們，令他們感覺到自我價值，注入自信心，繼續去問更多的問題。

學懂問甚麼、如何問

隨著小朋友長大，他們開始有能力專注於感興趣的事，有能力去衡量事情是否值得學習（基於內在及外在動機），亦有能力記住新舊知識（影響他們的好奇程度），使他們發問的方式會漸有系統。

這一代小朋友很幸運，大部分學校都是探究式學習。這是有效的學習方法，讓學生透過發問和探索式的學習方法，學會主動發掘「新」知識。

Heather Banchi和Randy Bell兩位教育學者，在「The Many Levels of Inquiry」一文中提到，提問有四個層次，包括確認式（confirmation）、結構式（structured）、引導式（guided）、開放式（open）。開放式提問層次最高，問題的層次則是取決於小朋友接收到多少資訊，以及老師在提問過程中，提供了怎樣的指引。在開放式的提問中，孩子理論上可以自己提出問題，然後就問題做出考查，並報告結果。

無論學習是基於科學問題，文學問題，還是藝術問題，目的都是希望孩子可以有更深入、更高層次的思考。雖然我們無法旨意他們在沒有協助的情況下解決問題，但事實就是，他們已經可以判斷甚麼值得問，在特定情況下是否適合提問，如何就問題找出答案，以及選擇甚麼時候是「不要問，即管做」。在日後的成就中，這些技巧比學業成績更為重要。

知道怎樣問嗎？

青年人在大學裏，開始找到他們在學術上想問的問題，亦包括一些關於人性、生活和成長的基本問題。書本告訴我們，青春期是訓練獨立，和學懂在提供最後答案前運用自我判斷能力的關鍵時間。但事實是，我們有多少人在大學畢業之時，已經能夠真正獨立，找到各種問題的答案？

我們可以認為，當孩子到達入學之齡，已經有足夠能力去解決問題。在過去的學習階段，已經有足夠的時間和支援，讓學生在探索中犯錯學習。在這樣的練習下，當孩子進入大學，理論上是有足夠能力去解決問題。

雖然我不主張過度保護孩子，我講的也可能是政治不正確，但我認為去承認大學生在探索過程仍然需要協助，未嘗不可。他們仍需要時間釐清很多事情，從自我認同，檢視及重整動機，到了解自己的能力。同時更要決定去探尋甚麼與人生有關的問題。或許那時候，他們才能真正運用新技巧，去找出答案。

因此，我們做家長的，對於踏入大專階段的孩子，是十分需要在提供引導以及不切實際的期望之間，取得平衡。有一個名詞特別形容青少年與成人中間的階段，叫「準成年期（Emerging Adulthood）」（由心理學家Jeffrey Arnett於2001提出），意指18至25歲的階段。這名詞提出了，即使我們的孩子正步入成人世界，講到底仍然是「步入中」。所以，其實仍然可以讓我們的孩子當個孩子吧。

如此一來，我們該可以舒一口氣。因為我們都知道，家長仍然可以引導孩子去探索，不用急於期望他們在畢業前，找到人生問題的每一個答案。只要我們培養他們愛探求的特質，我們的孩子，某程度上都能問「對」問題，找到「對」的答案，帶著剛毅和自信過快樂的生活。

撰文：陳慧珊

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相關文章：【陳慧珊】有一種教育，叫學習做決定 (16)聆聽你的孩子
                  【陳慧珊】有一種教育，叫學習做決定 (16)聆聽你的孩子

Decision Making is Educational

“Let Our Kids Be Kids”

Being inquisitive is a trait that all parents would love their children to have. By being inquisitive, it fuels children’s desire to ask questions in their path to learning and acquiring knowledge for their personal development. The ability to be able to take that inquisitive energy and translate it into systematic inquiry then carry it through to investigating, are skills we would love our children to eventually have.

Asking questions, therefore, is an essential motivation to own. Having the inquisitiveness to engage in asking questions, is the essential underpinning of children’s daily self-motivations for play and work, and is therefore crucial for their mental and physical well-being.

But we don’t need our children to delve deeply into their inquisitive thought just yet. With young children, let’s just let them be children.

Knowing to ask

Most children are born with a sense of curiosity about the world anyway. As parents and educators, we merely need to encourage young children to be free flowing in their world of curiosity. A setting that nurtures their desire to ask questions (to themselves or others) is adequate for young children to foster feelings of wonder and excitement.

This could mean letting them run barefoot in the park where they could maximize their five senses, placing them in a nursery where they could socialize with other children, or better yet, involve them in our fundamental activities at home while we mend the arm of their torn teddy (when was the last time we picked up a needle and thread?) while our children watch on; as long as children ask questions along the way, the purpose of inquiring is served.

In the early years of children’s lives, having the motivation to ask questions, is sufficient for them to explore, discover, and to learn. As parents and educators, our job is merely to acknowledge and encourage them to ask questions. By doing this, we indirectly reward them with feelings of self-esteem and self-worth, which fuels them with the confidence to ask more and more questions.

Knowing what and how to ask

As children get older, their skill for inquiry becomes more systematic, as a result of their ability to focus attention on things they want to learn about, to assess whether those things are worth learning (based on extrinsic or intrinsic rewards), and their memory of whether something is old or new knowledge (which guides their level of inquisitiveness).

Recent generations of children are fortunate in that most schools now provide inquiry-based learning. It’s an effective strategy where students learn to actively participate in the discovery of “new” knowledge by asking questions and exploring ways to answer them.

According to educators Heather Banchi and Randy Bell, in their article on “The Many Levels of Inquiry”, there are four levels of inquiry: confirmation, structured, guided, and open inquiry. The levels depend on the amount of information and guidance a teacher provides for the inquiry process, with open inquiry being the highest level of inquiry. In open inquiry, children are expected to formulate their own questions to ask, and to carry them through to completion by investigating and reporting their discoveries.

Whether it’s learning based on a science inquiry, a literary inquiry, or an arts inquiry, the goal is for our children to engage in deeper, higher levels of thinking. Although we cannot yet expect them to perform these tasks solely by themselves without any guidance, the fact that they can already make decisions towards what is worth asking, decide whether a particular question is appropriate to ask in a given context, decide how to go about finding answers to the question asked, and choose when not to ask but to “just do it”, are skills that will go beyond their school achievement into their future life accomplishments.

Knowing how to answer?

In college or university, adolescents begin their life journey of figuring out what questions they want to ask academically, as well as the fundamental questions about humanity, living, and growing. Textbooks tell us that this is a pivotal time for adolescents to become self-reliant and to make their own decisions about arriving at the final answers to their questions. But in hindsight, how many of us managed to become truly independent inquirers and find our own answers by the time we finished college?

On one hand we could say that by the time our children reach college-age that they would have acquired the strategies to be trained inquirers. Inquiring in a school setting would have given them ample time and support to make mistakes throughout their process of inquiry; therefore, with so much practice, they should be expected to be fully capable of answering their own questions by the time they reach college.

I do not advocate hovering over our children or over-parenting, and what I’m about to say may risk being politically incorrect, but I find that it’s alright to admit that college students still need guidance in finding answers. They also need time to find clarity, form self-identity, renew past motivations, and question their abilities, while deciding what fundamental life questions to ask. Perhaps then, they could utilize their newfound strategies to answer them.

Therefore, as a parent, it’s important to find a balance between providing guidance and having unrealistic expectations of our college-age children. For example, to account for the stage between adolescence and adulthood, the term “Emerging Adulthood” came into existence (by Jeffrey Arnett in 2000) to describe a person’s stage of life between the ages of 18-25. This suggests that sometimes, even when our children are developing into adults that they are after all still emerging into their adulthood. So maybe, sometimes it’s still okay for us to let our kids be kids.

With this attitude, we could breathe a little easier as parents knowing that we could still guide our children’s quest for inquiry without expecting them to know how to reach an answer for each and every aspect of their life by the time they finish college. As long as we nurture their love of inquiry, our children will somehow, ask the “right” questions and arrive at the “right” answers to happy living with fortitude and self-assurance.

Text by Flora Chan