【陳慧珊】有一種教育，叫學習做決定 (20) 為改變、相信、承諾做準備

世事瞬息萬變，我們作好準備了嗎？

人生中隨時會遇到突如其來的「改變」，有多少人是好整以暇去迎接的呢？若沒有調整好一副隨時應變的心態，結局會不一樣。

作出改變的推動力，就是意識到改變帶來的好處。這種意識可能來自某些人、某些事，或者從自我啟發。無論是那一個原因，第一步都是相同的，就是在我們回到舒適的惰性前，讓這些啟發變為行動，作出改變。

跨出心理關口的第一步所帶來的動力，深遠地影響日後的決定。

有時候，改變需要身邊的人配合。然而，大部分的人都安於習慣，有些人或過於自大而不肯付出，甚至覺得並不需要改變。這個世界有很多意見領袖，但卻缺乏真正的領導才能。人有躭於安逸的惰性，除非事情已去到一個嚴峻及逼切的地步，否則很難作出改變。

所以，重點是要讓投訴者停止投訴，害怕的人不再驚慌，並擔起領袖的角色，帶頭作出改變。只要態度正確和有一個強烈的急切性，其他人就會怕蝕底而跟風。

為改變做好心理準備，我們就有能力改變往常的做法，動員其他人去支持我們。有時候，我們的付出會直接見到成效，有時候只是嘗試。但是透過嘗試， 我們會知道未來的努力該放在哪裏。

相信自己的價值觀和願景

向改變踏出一大步，能夠幫助我們更加相信自己，因為這表示我們相信自己的核心價值及願景。

不論是家長、學生、企業行政人員還是其他角色，我們的價值觀決定我們該重視甚麼。毎個角色都有一套稍稍不同的核心價值，引領我們去作出恰當的想法和行動。為改變付出努力時，第一步是要定義角色，為我們所相信的奠下基礎。

每個角色都有一套潛規則和既定的規範，引導我們因應不同的事作出不同的決定。透過跟從這些身份的指引，做大家都認為「正確」的事，能夠幫助我們培養信念，相信自己的決定也是「正確」。否則的話，罪惡感會令我們討厭自己，阻礙我們堅持自己的願景。

如果我們希望信念有穩固的基石，就要深深相信自己的核心價值和願景。知道甚麼對我們重要，為甚麼堅持，為何存在，能讓我們有基礎支持自己的願景。當其他人挑戰我們，令我們感到不安、被責難或猶豫不決時，核心價值和真心相信的原因，可以把我們拉回正軌。在不停改變、充斥混亂與自私自利的世界中，相信自己的核心價值和獨到的眼光，可讓我們在需要時擁有清晰頭腦和力量。在推動理想時，給予我們更直接的決定。

承諾不單是一個承諾

無論有多少策略，計劃有多周全，我們建構的價值觀和目標有多好，願景如果沒有赴諸實行也只是願景。許下承諾，就有更大機會將想法赴諸行動。承諾引發的行動，帶來的只會是更好的決定，因為改變永遠是向更好方面發展的一步。只要是走向改變，已經足以引領我們至雙贏局面。

既然我們與生俱來有作出承諾的自由，為何不利用它作為解決不可行或未如理想的事情的方法。與其投訴，在悲傷與驚恐中溺死，或因惰性而對環境埋怨，許下一個改變的承諾，會給我們力量去找到安全感、保障、令人振奮或任何我們所欠缺的事。

值得一提的是，雖然最健康的承諾，是來自一個純粹的信念，一個相信會對大眾有利的願景。不過，我們認為好的改變並非人人受惠，因而在改變的過程中，我們可能會面臨意想不到或不受控的挑戰，或我們周圍的人不願意支持，以至令我們退縮，質疑自己的動機，甚或感到沮喪。

作者：陳慧珊   

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Decision Making is Educational

Getting Ready to Change, Believe, Promise

Change is always well-prepared, but are we?

Change is always prepared to welcome us, but are we prepared to invite it in? Without being equipped for the mental effort to initiate a change, change would become a missed opportunity to make a difference.

The driving force for a great chance at doing something different from the past is our own awareness of the advantages of traveling in the experience of change. The awareness could be caused by someone or something or it could be self-initiated. Whatever inspired us the first step is always the same: we have to allow our inspiration to kick-start our decision to make a change before we fall back into the comfort of inertia.

Compared with the other steps in the process to change, the first mental step can set the momentum and make a significant difference in how we make progressive decisions throughout the journey.

Sometimes a change takes the collaboration of people around us. Unfortunately, most people are comfortable in their habits, some could be too proud to give in, or feel a change is not even necessary. The world is full of opinion leaders, but not enough leadership. It’s up to us to present the facts and to paint a sense of urgency so that people will feel like something bad will come out of doing nothing. It’s human nature to stay in the comfort of habits unless we create the urgency to make a change.

The key is to stop the complainers from complaining, the scared from being fearful, and to take up the leadership role in the decision making initiative. With the right attitude and a strong, urgent case for change, others will be afraid of losing out if they don’t jump on the same bandwagon.

By being mentally equipped for change, we could cope with the challenges of changing how things were done in the past and to motivate others to support us. Sometimes our efforts will be more linear and successful, other times they will be merely attempts. But the term “failure” could be erased from our mental dictionary, because the lessons that can be learned from any attempt will connect to understanding what needs to be done for all future endeavors.

Believing in our values and vision

In deciding to take that leap of faith towards change, it helps to believe in ourselves and that means believing in our core values and in our vision.

Our values define what is important to us as a parent, student, a corporate executive, etc. Each role comes with it a slightly different set of core values that set guidelines for appropriate thoughts and actions. Within the game of the effort to change, the first step in setting a foundation for what we believe in is to first define our role.

Because each role comes with it a set of implicit rules and established boundaries about what are appropriate thoughts and actions, they will guide our decision making process. By following these identity guidelines and being a player within what we and others expect to be appropriate behavior and thinking, doing the “right” thing according to our respective role will help nurture our belief that our decision were “right”. Otherwise, the guilt of feeling like our decisions should’ve been made differently, would nudge us to like ourselves a little less. And that, would be detrimental to our ability to uphold our belief in our vision.

If we want a firm foundation for our faith we need to have a strong belief in our core values and vision. Knowing what is important to us, what we stand for, and why we exist, will give us that foundation to fight for our vision. When others challenge what we believe in, having core values and a genuine heart-felt purpose will help put us back on the right track when we are faced with insecurities, blame, and/or indecisiveness. Believing in our core values and sensible vision within an ever-changing world of confusion and selfish agendas will bring clarity and strength when we need it. And give us a more linear direction towards progression of our vision.

A promise could be more than just a promise

No matter how many strategies, well thought-out plans, well-defined values and goals we ultimately manage to structure, a vision is just a vision without the promise to act. Once the promise is set in stone, an initiative to change will most likely be carried out through action. That action inspired by promise, can only result in a good decision, because change is always a step towards something different and something better. Simply by walking in the experience of change will already place us in a sure-to-win situation.

If we are born with the freedom to make promises, why not choose to treasure it as a source for answers to why things are not working the way we want and/or expect. Rather than complaining, drowning in sorrow and fear, and/or blaming circumstances for our inertia, a promise to change will give us the strength to search for safety, security, excitement, or whatever we feel are lacking.

A gentle reminder though, that the most wholesome promise comes from a pure form of faith that is set in a vision of change that is sensible for the common good. If we find that in our path to change that we are faced with challenges beyond our control and/or that people around us are hesitant to support us, we may want to backtrack and question our motives before we rant and rave in frustration. Because although we are most likely to perceive that most efforts to change are for our own good, it may not be the best decision for universal progression.

Text by Flora Chan