【陳慧珊】有一種教育，叫學習做決定 (19) 找尋自己的奇景

「若想得到你從未擁有的東西，你得願意做你從未做過的事。」
– 湯瑪斯‧傑佛遜

導演、監製、編劇李安的最新作品《比利林恩的中場戰事》，日前在紐約影展進行私人首映（各地將在11月上映）。電影以最新科技拍攝，只有普通投影技術的影院很大機會無法放映。李安更可能會面對指摘，高清畫質對於電影來說或過於真實，格格不入。即使預計到將有猛烈抨擊，李安仍然試行。

李安曾經在訪問中承認，當年拍攝《少年Pi的奇幻漂流》（2012），採用了他沒有用過的技術，所以連他自己都不知道，將會是趟怎樣的旅程。但由於想給觀眾「全新的戲劇體驗」，打開觀眾的思維「去接受不一樣的事情」（芝加哥太陽報，2012），即使知道充滿未知之數，他仍然接受這個挑戰。

《囍宴》（1993）、《理性與感性》（1995）、《變形俠醫》（2003）和《斷背山》（2005），都展示出李安作品主題的多樣性，亦可以從中得知他希望在職業生涯中與哪些演員合作；同時，這些作品亦肯定了李安敢於接受新挑戰，在一部成功的作品之後，仍會跳出「舒適地帶」創作。

許多人一生都未有盡用天賦。我們一方面叫小朋友上畫班、學彈琴，全面發展個人潛能（其實有沒有這回事？），但當談到豐富自己的生命時，卻會變得表裏不一。

我們為何突然不再跳舞、唱歌、畫畫，不再幻想？從何時開始，我們容許成年人責任這個包袱，扼殺與生俱來的創意、率性與好奇心？

對於某些人來說，工作變得苦悶了，友情已經褪色了，生活變得單調了。但維持這樣的生活，似乎比起為生活注入趣味和意義來得更容易。這些人都因為諸多原因如懶惰、畏懼或驕傲，推搪學習新技能，開展新經歷，甚至是簡單到為世界驚歎一下也不願意，寧可維持適舒的慣性；好多人情願停留在痛苦的道路，並以受環境所壓迫而為借口。

有時候，要有能力及成功地找到屬於自己世界的「第八大奇景」，或者只需要作出簡單的自我反省，真誠地聆聽內心。為了實現願望，豐富人生，我們會努力找更多的資訊，賺出經驗及技能。我們一旦擁有真正的能力，就不會想走回頭路，以舊有的方式去觀察、聆聽和感受事物。這個學習過程可能漫長艱巨，但新方式與思維，會為我們帶來動力，改變我們在生活各方面的態度。

又有時候，要找到自己的「第八大奇景」，可能只需要簡單地將自己平凡不過的經歷，轉化為深刻的體驗。上週是我學期中的小休，我女兒平日幾乎完全可以透過閱讀和畫畫自娛，但她卻第一次跟我說很悶。我當時正忙於寫論文，沒有時間帶她外出，亦無法像平日般在家中玩board game、看電影。由於我沒有安排時間與她玩，她只好在假期中，開展些小項目（例如用鞋盒造間小屋給她的小石頭，或砌好星球大戰Lego）。

當我聽到女兒說悶，我才猛然醒起已經忽略她一整個星期。我立即放下手上的工作，拖著她的小手到客廳的梳化，坐下來，摟著她。我們不需要電視節目和書本協助，亦不需要零食和果汁。就是單純地感受與女兒共聚的當下，在寧靜的一刻，我發現我找到自己的「奇景」，簡單卻又如此滿足。之後的半個小時，我們都是抱抱、聊天，在彼此的陪伴下一起「悶」。

要找「第八大奇景」，就是即使可能面對失敗與否定，都要以勇氣去做出不一樣的事。與其顧忌有沒有人做過，又或者對我們的事業有沒有幫助，去做與眾不同的事本身可能已經夠滿足和值得。例如我在演藝事業以外，選擇做了不同的工作，就是因為我沒有這樣的經驗，想挑戰自己。甚至乎有朋友提點我，這樣做有如在工作中自殺，因為我可能維持不到自己的專業，以及過往塑造出「有型」的形象。但在自我挑戰的內在動機，以及明白到挑戰新事物的奇妙有趣下，我終找到了「奇景」 –以全新方法看待及解決事情的滿足感。最佳的推動力，就是想自我實現的內在熱誠，這將會超越所有外在誘因，如聲望、權力或別人的認可。

無論是高風險如轉工，或者低風險如學社交舞，或者是平凡到多花時間在孩子身上，甚至是多給予自己獨處的時間及反思空間，這些都可以是難忘的景致，為我們的生活帶來更新。

要找到自己的「第八奇景」，不一定要像李安般戲劇性和堂皇。無論是去摘星，還是簡單如找看待事物的新角度，最重要是有去探索的心，並像我們小時候般去試行。

除非我們真心地覺得自己的生活夠完美，否則不要停止以夢想和白日夢填滿我們，並以實際的行動，活出心中所想。這樣，到我們走人生最後一段路至天堂奇景時，就能夠直呼，「這就是人生之道 — 過一個無憾的人生。」

作者：陳慧珊   

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Decision Making is Educational

“Searching for Our Own Wonders – Beyond the Seventh”

“If you want something you’ve never had,  you must be willing to do something you’ve never done.”
-Thomas Jefferson

Director, producer, and screenwriter Ang Lee’s latest film “Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk” made its recent private debut at The New York Film Festival (national release in November). The film was shot using technology so advanced that most standard theaters will probably not be equipped with the projection system to play it. He may also have to brave critical response for shooting a film that some may say is comparable to watching a high resolution television image too realistic for and unbefitting of a movie-going experience. However, knowing that the outcome may be highly criticized, Ang Lee experimented anyway.

When Ang Lee committed to making “Life of Pi” (2012), he admitted in interviews that he had no idea what the journey would be like, considering that it would involve technologies he was not experienced working with. But he wanted to give people “a new theatrical experience” and to open up people’s mind “to accept something different” (Chicago Sun-Times, 2012). Knowing that his journey would be full of uncertainties, he took the challenge anyway.

The diversity of themes, subjects, and actors he chose to work on/with throughout his career exemplified by such films as “The Wedding Banquet” (1993), “Sense and Sensibility” (1995), “Hulk”(2003) and “Brokeback Mountain” (2005), confirms that Ang Lee is a man who is not afraid to take on one new challenge after another or of working outside his comfort zone.
Most of us tend to go through life without fully utilizing our talents and gifts. Although we are quick to tell our children to take this art class or that piano lesson so that they could develop to their full potential (is there such a thing?), we are more hypocritical when it comes to enriching our own lives.

Why did we suddenly stop dancing, or singing, or painting, or wondering? When did we allow the burden of adult responsibilities to dwindle our inborn knack for creativity, spontaneity, and curiosity?

For some people, their jobs may have become dull, their friendships may have waned, or their lives may have become monotonous, but they have found it easier to continue the way they are rather than to put effort into making life more interesting and meaningful. Rather than to develop new skills, embark on new experiences, and simply to find wonder in the world, they would rather dwell in the comfort of inertia, due to reasons such as laziness, fear, or pride. Most people choose the painful path of staying in limbo, using the excuse that they were forced by circumstance.

Sometimes the ability to search and successfully find our eighth wonder in our own world simply takes looking inward to become self-critical and truthful to our desires and needs. Then we could choose to enrich our lives by striving to gain more information, more experiences, and more skills towards fulfilling those desires and needs. Once we gain real competence we won’t want to go back to using our old ways of seeing, hearing, and feeling things. It may be a long and difficult learning process, but this newfound way of doing and feeling will help us build momentum which will spread into the way we handle and view other areas of our lives.

Other times, finding our own eighth wonder could even simply mean converting an ordinary moment into a rich experience. For example, last week during half-term break, my daughter, who is almost always capable of entertaining herself by avidly reading or drawing independently, told me for the first time that she was bored. I had been busy doing research for my dissertation and didn’t have time to take her out or to play our usual board games or watch a home movie together, so aside from the one playdate I managed to schedule, she spent most of her holiday home working on her favorite small projects alone (e.g. making a house out of a shoe box for her pet rock, or building her Star War’s Lego collection). As soon as she told me she was bored, something came over me to stop in my tracks and to drop everything I was doing, upon realizing that I had indeed neglected my daughter for an entire week. Then I took her hand and led her to our living room sofa, and we just sat and cuddled. We didn’t need the external aid of a television program or a book, or the comfort of a routine snack or juice. Simply by opening my eyes to the sensations of being together with my daughter, in the quietude of the moment, I discovered a realm of wonder so simple yet so satisfying. And all we did for the next half hour was to cuddle and to talk in the solitude of each other’s company and to be “bored” together.

Finding the eighth wonder could also mean having the courage to do something entirely different, even if it means risking failure or disapproval. Sometimes it just feels good to do something out of the ordinary for the value of it being self-satisfying and worthwhile, rather than to worry about whether others would do the same thing, or whether it would contribute to our career success. For example, along my professional acting career I have taken on roles that I chose to accept simply because I had never played such a character before and wanted the challenge, even though my friends advised me that it would “kill my career” because I would not be able to maintain my professional and “cool image” as I had done with my past roles. But I’ve come to discover the wonder of being guided by my intrinsic motivation for self-competition and for the value of engaging in something wondrously challenging and exhilarating – for the satisfaction of seeing things and solving problems in a whole new way. To be driven by ones inner passion for self-actualization is the best kind of motivation, above and beyond the extrinsic motivations of prestige, power, or recognition.

Whether it be something as risky as changing careers, or something as safe as taking ballroom dance lessons, or even something as “ordinary” as spending more time with our children, or finding more time for solitary pleasures and self-reflection, these are all wonderful sights to embark on to renew zest into our lives.

Searching for our own eighth wonder doesn’t necessary mean doing something as dramatic and grand as Ang Lee. Whether we reach for the stars or simply search for a new perspective or a new way of doing things, the important thing is to have the eagerness to explore and experiment like we used to when we were kids.

Unless we truly believe that our lives are already perfect, let’s stop consoling ourselves with wishes and daydreams and make a solid decision to act on our realistic desires, so that when we are ready to embark on that last inevitable journey of heavenly wonder, that we can look back and say, “That’s the way to learn –living a life with no regrets.”

Text by Flora Chan